Beyond the Dream

I wonder what it must have been like always wanting a family but not knowing what it really is? Watching people come and take away your friends as you stay behind? You know this family thing must be great and you have hope that some day a family will come for you. But time goes by, more friends leave and your still there.

This i think must be the glasses that my Krista looks through. It is taking her quite a bit more time to warm up to this new family than it has the other three. It is almost as if she is not sure this is real and if it is, they will probably not keep me anyway. Two families before us had visited her and told her they would be her new family. What it must have felt like to deal with that kind of rejection?

But the best part for us is we get to watch her unfold and bloom. Little by little her protective wall is coming down and another beautiful part of this child is revealed.

This morning before i left for work i was being silly with her because she seems to respond to this. She isn't normally very affectionate with me. She has moments where she'll lay her head on my shoulder or briefly cuddle up with me. But she doesn't ever stay to long. But just before leaving for work today i felt little arms around my waist. I looked down to see a little smiling facing looking up at me. I brushed her hair back, kissed her forehead and told her "I love you and i'm very happy your here". The little face beeming back at me is what this adoption thing is all about. Every child needs love and deserves a family that will give them that. And the truth is, i need them just as much. They are teaching me more about love than i could ever have learned in the selfish life i lived before they came home.

Shane (Also known as Papa!)