We were pretty happy with our lives, content with watching others do the Lords work and sending a check to support this or that! But i always admired the faith of others that seemed to be just a little more in Love with Jesus than I. I remember many times praying that Jesus would give me "That kind of Faith"! What i really imagined was Jesus kind of snapping his fingers and Shane would awaken with a deeper Love and faith in Him. Silly me! I look back and realize that if Jesus were to do that there would have been no point in our creation in the first place. But the prayer was made and Jesus answered in His way. He started showing me things that would tug at my heart, and we would send a check. Then he started showing me things that would absolutly break my heart, and we would send a check. Then he dropped the bomb on me, he showed me something that need to be addressed and that a check would have no effect on, he showed me the children that live life without Love. After all, isn't our entire purpose on earth to LOVE? It is our greatest Commandment!
I read this story by Katie Davis and it through me into tears:
Monday, December 15, 2008
I found this story in my journal last night... its fairly old but still has the same meaning. As you hold the ones you love this Christmas, please keep in mind those who have no one to hold them.
Yesterday a sweet little girl named Rita came to my house with two teeth that had been completely eaten through by a cavity and were almost completely rotted away. The holes looked like they were starting to get infected and the nerve was exposed; I cant imagine how much pain she was in. I took her to the dentist, and they said they were closed. The dentist was in a hurry to leave and wouldn't help me, but he said I could use his things and do it myself. Of course I was terrified, but I was more scared to think about the teeth not being removed immediately; they looked so painful. I gave her a shot to numb her mouth, waited about ten minutes, tried to sterilize these tweezer things with a match and dug out what was remaining of her poor little teeth. I don't think she could feel it, but my heart hurt for her.
I took her back home, made her a hot bath and some soup. Then she had ice cream and slept in my bed under a big blanket. As i tucked the covers in around her and kissed her head she looked up at me with these big, wondering eyes. Unbelievable as it is, she was SOOO happy. She told me that this was the best day of her life, even though her mouth hurt. She said that she would get her teeth pulled every day if she could stay with someone like me. And that made my heart hurt even more.
There are so many children out there that don't feel loved on a daily basis. So many children that don't have a person to hold their hand or rub their back when they are scared and in pain. So many children who don't have the simple pleasures of taking a warm bath or sleeping under a blanket. I would move all of them, ALL of them into my house if I could. I wish I could love them all. I wish more people cared enough that they also wanted to love them all. Sometimes I just can't even believe how blessed I am. I have always been loved, always been cared for, always been warm and well-fed. Its frustrating sometimes, but mostly its just motivating. Sometimes I feel so tired, and then something like this happens and I am reminded that I can give a child the best night of her life simply by making her soup and kissing her forehead. Simply by loving her.
Sometimes I feel so tired that I think if I give away any more of myself I may actually be empty. And then I remember, It is only in giving away the love given to me by the Father that I am ever actually full. And so I keep going because of Rita. Because kissing her forehead and saying 'I love you" actually did change the world for that little girl. Because maybe through my hands she can get just a glimpse of a fraction of the love her Maker has for her. There is nothing better.
It can be found at this link: http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-found-this-story-in-my-journal-last.html
After reading this story i realized that there are children in this world that will never know what Love is. They will never know the warmth of a hug or the security of knowing you have a family that you can fall back on when your hurt or lonely. I thought, what kind of world do we live in that a little girl says she would have her teeth pulled everyday for a bath, cup of soup and a kiss on the forehead? So that is why we dediced to adopt! Because if we didn't these children have no hope and will never feel LOVE!
The Bible says: "Once your eyes are open you cannot pretent you don't know what to do". With the new found deeper Love for Jesus I couldn't imagine how i would be able to explain to Him that I did nothing to show Love to the Unloved!
Now about "OUR GIRLS"! God sends you in the direction we're supposed to go. With our girls, it was Love as first sight, as He intended! He knew He had conditioned our hearts for this, that I had a good job and great insurance, so therefore we could handle this assignment. So he showed me a picture of Oksana. I must have stared at it for hours. To this day all we know about her is she is 6, has HIV, she doesn't smile in any of her pictures and we are incredibly in love with her! Along with her in another picture were 4 others girls that Oksana had grown up with in the orphanage. We talked about it and decided that if we were going to do this we will do it to it's fullest. We decided that if possible we would bring them all home as sisters. Later we were told that one of the girls, Irina was already spoken for by another family. We were happy for her and sad that she would be split form the girls she grow up with. But God is amazing and soon we found out that he had a plan to address our concerns! Irina was being adopted by a Christian family right here in the Chicago area. She looks exactly like her new Daddy! And she will know Love and the Love of Jesus! And!!!! She will get to see her "sisters" often!!!
Statistically, there are 147 million orphans in this world. If Orphan were a country, it would be the 9th most populated country in the world! 99.6% of all orphans will never know the Love of a family through adoption or otherwise. There is an 85% failure rate for all orphans in the Ukraine that age out of an orphange. 15% commit suicide within two years. 70% of the girls are trafficked or turn voluntarily to prostitution to survive. Many of these girls are never heard from again because there is no one looking for them! But for our girls the story is even worse. Because they are considered older children (That baffles me that 5, 6 and 7 year olds are considered older) they will very likey never get adopted. Add to that they have HIV and thier chances go to zero! If that wasn't enough, they only have access to two ARV medication there. They take one until they build up a tolerance and then are switched to the other. When they build a tolerance to that one they are switched back. But possibly eventually they will build a tolerance to both and will die there in an orphanage without ever knowing Love and the Love of Jesus! But the good news is we are going to get them. With us they will know love and the love of Jesus and here in the USA we have access to 97 medications and eventually they will be undetectable!
We are not perfect! It seems like everyday i am reminded of how imperfect i am...Praise God! But there can be little doubt that these girls will be better off in an imperfect Christian home than the place they are at now!
Happy New Year Everyone!